I trust… I trust in the endless time of things, today I am more patient, a bit more: I dare say! I have learned to see and to scrutinize the illusions that my eyes created, my mind, my doubts and even my heart, that was so fearful of feeling love, of breaking again, of turning to a broken glass, shattered in thousand and thousands of pieces. Alone, I learned to trust first in myself, more in myself than others, before, I used to do the opposite. I mean, we are all enough alone, and when we understand this, we see the stars that were hidden inside of us, and they were so many, thousand of them: stars! And besides them, there were also flowers, planets, doors, a whole world, a magical world full of pearls, suns, moons, love and also sadness, but, even so, we are all fortresses able to hang on, to carry on, to believe and to create. So, trust in the endless time of things! Trust in your stars, and let them guide you, please!
Porto, 28th of October 2018
Your serene voice comes close to my ear and fades. Life is an endless search, isn’t it? White Chrysanthemums, red Roses and your spectrum! ’Cause what you only have left was your spectral being in me, in my soul. Your serene voice, your lightening gaze. I remember your words: ’cause love should always come before, my beloved.’ Never war, never war, not between us. Let’s not live in retaliation, let’s live fully, Love. Full as we are, as one, as we once were. Let our love reach the air, undress us, turn us into clouds — to inhabit the skies. Now, only red roses on my lap and you, us as one.
Recently, on my vacations, I’ve discovered the remarkable work of the writer and poet Teixeira de Pascoaes. I was immediately moved after reading the first page of his famous book named ‘The Poor Fool’, I totally recognized myself in the Fool’s skin: contemplating the dusk, reflecting unceasingly about the existence and the limb between life and death. And, as Teixeira de Pascoaes said: ‘Everything is a dream of a poor fool. And the poor fool is too a dream, a dream of a God that didn’t fully reincarnate. Therefore, he is involved into a halo, and he has the weight of cloud.’
Thursday, 5th of January 2018
//Hands touching the air by the dawn. And I still search you, miss you.// It’s already January and a new year arrived… I struggled for almost 6 months until 2018 begun. I sold my time to others, and I realized that It’s very difficult to be an altruist. Now, I am redefining the word liberty … This life caries so many burdens and, sometimes, we find ourselves incapable to vanish the dark clouds above our heads. I know I have the tendency to isolate myself from the world to reach equilibrium, to be full before become empty again. But, I am what I am: I am loner, a loner who seeks oneness where shades dwelt. Now, I will return to the grave where I buried myself and revive again for the little things. I think in this year, we will rise from our older selves, and play the joyful and light Vivaldi again. It’s time to expand. Happy new year to you all. :)
Tuesday, 21st of November 2017
I often make these questions to myself: Destiny, do you really exist? Do our souls perpetuate their existence in different bodies, living endlessly life after life? And yet… I haven’t find a precise answer. I just have the unexplainable feeling of belonging to another time and place. A feeling that I cannot silence, that leaves me restless, lost in this present life, in-between everything: unfulfilled.
Finally, I will have two days off from work!!! August was an exhausting month. I have to assimilate all the changes in my life without a moment to make a reflection about everything that was happening. I just wish that one day, I will be able to live according to my own pace and believes. This capitalism system is enslaving every living soul and stealing health, joy and our precious time. But this is not the end, only the beginning. I will live according to my own believes soon or later. Until then, I will be learning the lessons that I choose to learn in this particularly year of 2017. //Having time to drink a tea and take the breakfast in bed is just a blessing, I’m so grateful to my guides and to the universe for this moment.//
Dear Diary, //Let us be credulous that, one day, such joy will meet our way. // I’ve found a memory covered and hidden beneath the forgotten dust of time — and a past moment had unravel before my eyes as it was this very present moment, as it was my true essence.
Dusk it was, a particular moment of the day where this world and the other meet and become one. Where everything converge, twist and takes a shape. Where everything around us is compelling and enticing, where our soul isn’t a prisoner, isn’t contained, but instead disperse and free, connected with that invisible world, where, at once, is moon, light, sun, fortune, glory and hope. Dear Diary, I long for these kindred days.
Honoring the divine feminine in me with this humble rosa pendulina.
Discover more about the divine feminine here.