Teixeira de Pascoaes

Recently, on my vacations, I’ve discovered the remarkable work of the writer and poet Teixeira de Pascoaes. I was immediately moved after reading the first page of his famous book named ‘The Poor Fool’, I totally recognized myself in the Fool’s skin: contemplating the dusk, reflecting unceasingly about the existence and the limb between life and death. And, as Teixeira de Pascoaes said: ‘Everything is a dream of a poor fool. And the poor fool is too a dream, a dream of a God that didn’t fully reincarnate. Therefore, he is involved into a halo, and he has the weight of cloud.’

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Happy New Year

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Thursday, 5th of January 2018

//Hands touching the air by the dawn. And I still search you, miss you.// It’s already January and a new year arrived… I struggled for almost 6 months until 2018 begun. I sold my time to others, and I realized that It’s very difficult to be an altruist. Now, I am redefining the word liberty … This life caries so many burdens and, sometimes, we find ourselves incapable to vanish the dark clouds above our heads. I know I have the tendency to isolate myself from the world to reach equilibrium, to be full before become empty again. But, I am what I am: I am loner, a loner who seeks oneness where shades dwelt. Now, I will return to the grave where I buried myself and revive again for the little things. I think in this year, we will rise from our older selves, and play the joyful and light Vivaldi again. It’s time to expand. Happy new year to you all. :)

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A feeling that I cannot silence

Tuesday, 21st of November 2017
I often make these questions to myself: Destiny, do you really exist? Do our souls perpetuate their existence in different bodies, living endlessly life after life? And yet… I haven’t find a precise answer. I just have the unexplainable feeling of belonging to another time and place. A feeling that I cannot silence, that leaves me restless, lost in this present life, in-between everything: unfulfilled.

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Thursday, 7th of September 2017

Finally, I will have two days off from work!!! August was an exhausting month. I have to assimilate all the changes in my life without a moment to make a reflection about everything that was happening. I just wish that one day, I will be able to live according to my own pace and believes. This capitalism system is enslaving every living soul and stealing health, joy and our precious time. But this is not the end, only the beginning. I will live according to my own believes soon or later. Until then, I will be learning the lessons that I choose to learn in this particularly year of 2017. //Having time to drink a tea and take the breakfast in bed is just a blessing, I’m so grateful to my guides and to the universe for this moment.//

 

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Thursday, 29th of June 2017

Dear Diary, //Let us be credulous that, one day, such joy will meet our way. // I’ve found a memory covered and hidden beneath the forgotten dust of time — and a past moment had unravel before my eyes as it was this very present moment, as it was my true essence.

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Dusk it was, a particular moment of the day where this world and the other meet and become one. Where everything converge, twist and takes a shape. Where everything around us is compelling and enticing, where our soul isn’t a prisoner, isn’t contained, but instead disperse and free, connected with that invisible world, where, at once, is moon, light, sun, fortune, glory and hope. Dear Diary, I long for these kindred days.

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“Every time you feel lost, confused, think about trees, remember how they grow. Remember that a tree with lots of branches and few roots will get toppled by the first strong wind, while the sap hardly moves in a tree with many roots and few branches. Roots and branches must grow in equal measure, you have to stand both inside of things and above them, because only then will you be able to offer shade and shelter, only then will you be able to cover yourself with leaves and fruit at the proper season.

And later on, when so many roads open up before you, you don’t know which to take, don’t pick one at random; sit down and wait. Breathe deeply, trustingly, the way you breathed on the day when you came into the world, don’t let anything distract you, wait and wait some more. Stay still, be quiet, and listen to your heart. Then, when it speaks, get up and go where it takes you.”
― Susanna Tamaro, Follow Your Heart

End of May and you are still faraway

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                                                           Thursday, 25th of May 2017

Dear Diary,

There is something comforting about taking my socks off, resting my feet on the grass, and emptying my mind from my own howling thoughts… It’s magical permitting myself to feel the abandonment, the freedom from my personality, my middling interests and existing as an improvised tree. There is something magical about don’t move, don’t think, don’t speak. Something magnanimous about being and sparkle the warm-cold light of the dusk…  There is something perpetual about my feet against the fuzzy grass that exhale the demons out of my body skin. //End of May and you are still faraway.//